Malick's Journal

A slive of Pumpkin pie and an awesome bald guy...
Okay, last night was possibly the best concert I've ever been to. (Not the best concert experience, 'cause seeing Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlain was the best thing EVER, but APC is a better band than Zwan any day. Maybe tied with Djali Zwan, though.)
After work & Loud, Krystle and I went to McDonalds and got some cheap and fast food and drove our little selves to Pompano. And despite what Mom thought, we had no trouble getting there or anything. So we waited in line surrounded by the stupid "Do you have your tickets??" ladies (If you make that face too long it'll freeze like that). Then we seperated into boys & girls lines to get patted down and went inside.
Well, we didn't get to the very front right away, but we were about two or three people back. All the people around us were really cool- there was the guy who thought he was Maynard and the cool guy who looked like he was in gimp., (Excuse me, The Better Gimp!) the people from LA who actually liked the Children's Hour when they saw Zwan at the Hard Rock Cafe last April, and then the "Hot Girls." No Ryan Conforti, though. It had to have been one of the most receptive crowds I've ever been in.
Now, the opening act had way too loud of a bass drum to begin with, so already I was annoyed by them. And then, they sounded like The Cult with Marilyn Manson singing, playing The Pitts music. It wasn't a very effective combination, and they all had really bad attitudes. So I was happy when they left. I think they were called Icarus Line, or Icarus Vine, or something like that. The singer didn't even care enough to tell us who they were.
Then we waited for about a half hour, and the rain finally got inside my shoes.
And then APC came on!! They opened with "Vanishing" and it was really badass. And Maynard was in this box thing with his silhouette coming through, and it had a really cool effect. Then they played The Pet, which is AWESOME, and when he says the line "Don't fret precious, I'm here" the fabric on the box thing came down and it was really cool. Overall the show was one of the best things I've ever seen, Billy and Josh and Maynard all seemed like really cool guys, and then Jeordie White seemed like a better bass player than Paz and then JAMES IHA!!!!!! A HUGE slice of our PUMPKIN PIE!!!!!!! And he had his hair, and it was like we were seeing the Pumpkins if we closed our ears! And they all seemed like really good friends, and maynard talked to us a lot, and faced our side of the stage most of the time. :) And they joked around and played "Fred's Slacks" which has to be the funniest thing EVER.
Their entire set, out of order, was:

The Hollow
Magdalena
Judith
Orestes
Three Libras
Thinking of You
The Package
Weak & Powerless
The Noose
Blue
Vanishing
The Outsider
The Nurse Who Loved Me
Pet
Gravity
Fred's Slacks

So it was, like, the coolest thing ever. I wish they'd played Thomas and Brena, but what can you do. I was a bit disappointed by the no-encoreage, but again.
And then we bought tour shirts which fit us pretty well, and then hugged those random "hot girls" who weren't really hot, but were really nice anyway. Who says we're not open to people, man? Lol. It was one of the best nights ever.

Current Mood: Very very happy
Current Music: APC- The Pet

Lots and lots.
Long time since I've updated cuz guess what- LiveJournal has a problem with my server and rarely lets me onto its site. :)
Dignity seems to be doing great right now, mostly because K and I are doing awesome! In about a two weeks we will have been together for 23 months, which means in 6 weeks we'll have been together for 2 years. Crazy!! It doesn't feel like that long! But then it also feels like it's been forever. It's a nice kind of confusion. She's seventeen now, I hope I made her birthday nice. I bought her a P-bass and a bass amp, both of which were late. The bass because Fender only makes white guitars in one factory, in like California, and even though I ordered it like a month and a half ahead of time, it was still late. And I got the amp from Casey Hull and even though he's one of the coolest guys I know, he, too, was late. So there was also The Pitts' CD RATIONAL ORDER, Buffy book BITE ME, and the little ones got her earrings and a new ying-yang link for her bracelet. I think she liked them :) Cuz if she didn't I'd cry and die because I love her sooooo much.
So Dignity has some new equipment, like three new songs, and possibly a SHOW! Mr Klein from the dance studio & Easychair heard and liked the demo and said he'd like to play with us. And since we don't have a drummer or anything anywhere close to it, we'd play acoustic. And since not too many people dig acoustic, we thought the more intimate setting of the Dance Studio might be cool.
Bought APC tickets today. Hopefully Jayme'll wanna go with us, waiting for him to write me back. That'll be a cool show. Tryin' to be some of the first people there to get our infamous front row. :) Truth is....
Truth is you suck and better not interfere with my James Iha. ;) Or my Billy Howerdel. Hmm. What's that other guy's name?

Blood sugar sex majik...sex majik...

Doritos...

If I were you, I'd better watch out. When was the last time you did anything not for me? Or anyone else- just because? Just because. Yeah you................................................................................yeah you really should have known......whose car am I drivin' in?......I always do the wrong thing, but for very good reason..........you messed with the WRONG GIRL......SHE'S SMALL BUT SHE'S FIERCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that was me typing everything that comes into my head. Mostly Jane's lyrics. Yeah, you really should have known. To sum up:
J<3K, J<3K<3Dignity, James Iha<3Louis du Pont du Lac, J<3Janes, JAY HEART KAY!!!

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Something's Coming/Strays

Beat your skins for me, please.
Looking for a drummer. Local alternative/progressive-y band, www.hypersensitive.org/dignity. Please, if you are or know a drummer looking to join a band, email me at sevenupnwhatnot@aol.com Rock on, thanks a bunch.

Jimbo

Why do we all have to be broken down?
Well, first off, the future looks really cool right now. School isn't so bad, I mean, it's getting better. None of my teachers hate me as far as I can tell, except maybe Bev, but who knows. Lol. My bus route was switched around so that instead of a two hour ride it's only like one and a half, which means most CDs I get to listen to one and a half times.
In two weeks I turn seventeen, which is scary and kind of cool. Hopefully there'll be some kind of get-together with some cool people. :)
I'll have been driving for a year, and it feels like my whole life.
I'm working steadily, making pretty good money for pretty menial stuff. It's physically demanding, but that's not what people usually pay for: it is, however, going to be good for my body since I'm so out of shape. And I have money so use of my own.
I'm with the most beautiful girl I can imagine and she makes me a very, very happy boy. I feel like I've been with her my whole life and who knows how else long. I used to believe we were two of 4,998 and now I think we're two of four, counting the Little Kinses. :) Igby and Jason, sitting in the backpack...Lol. We rule so much. We've been going to a lot of local shows lately, just so that when we play people won't be completely confused by our presence. Lol. We're playing music that I love, and I hope she does too. Recording lots. Getting input from very higher-ups. Got some people interested in it, which is pretty cool.
There's almost nothing wrong with my life right now, except of course my lack of free time (on Labor Day, I will have been working/ going to school for 17 days straight!) and I'm really hopeful, and looking forward to the future. And I'm looking forward to spending it with someone special :D

PS. There used to be a second half to this entry; anyone who has anything to say about it feel free. It seemed pointless to have it stay up here.

Current Mood: In love.
Current Music: Dignity- Healthy

Lots of fun.
Well, school has officially started- yay! I don't have that great of a schedule, my favorite class right now is probably Costuming- sorry, Drama II- just because Big Bev gets under my skin in Acting. And Musical Theatre is a joke. But at least they didn't give me nonexistent classes. I don't have too many cool people in my classes, but I'm sure I'll meet more people as time goes on.
The first Friday of the year we went downtown got a wonderful Publix sub, and saw Uptown Girls. I really didn't want to see it, it looked really really stupid. But I guess it was just packaged like a bad chick flick, and was really good. Plus, a cameo by DAVE NAVARRO that no one in the theater seemed to get. He's so cool!
Which brings me to my next point. Lollapalooza. Jane's Addiction. Nothing short of a religious experience. I am now engulfed in all things Jane's. I want to grow and be just like that. Oh yeah, you know it. I always thought Navarro was overrated, but seing him likve proved me totally wrong. He should be celebrated. Perry Farrell is an awesome frontman, just the way it should be. I heard somewhere that an essential part of a good frontman is having a voice "that is larger than yourself" and he does have that, not merely in his singing voice but in his lyrical voice. It extends beyond himself. The drummer is really really good and the new bassist is better than most.
Which brings me to my next point: I am a poor drummer, please don't judge. But Dignity's demo is finished recording, we just have to finalize the mixing and get it onto a few CDs (which is proving to be mroe difficult than it should be) and we'll be on the road. Figuratively. If you're interested, I'll probably hand them out at school and stuff, and if the stars are with us, we'll be actually playing out soon. Yahoo.
Speaking of music, also saw Skid Row, Vince Neil, and Poison for free, thanks to my awesome chums at Frannie's Fine Food. They got to get all the way up, we hung in the seats and stuff. A fun night without a doubt.
Well, lots of fun lately, keep rocking' out.

PS- hypersensitive.org/dignity Please check it out.

Current Mood: Pretty hopeful
Current Music: Live Jane's- Up The Beach

Very cool survey. Feel free to answer the questions yourself.
1.) Who are you? Who do you want to be?
      I'm Jim. I want to be me and as true to myself as I can be. I want to be good and smart and creative. I also want to be Billy and Spike, but that's another story.
2.) If hate connects groups of people, does that mean love separates them?
      Yes. Definitely. However, the coverse is also true: hate separates and love connects. Depends on point of view.
3.) What is brilliance? What does it mean for something to be brilliant?
      Brilliance is and can be a whole lot of things. Anything, generally art, that seems to come from something outside oneself and inspire the creator and viewer alike. Wow, that's really pidgeonholing, but what can I do.
4.) What is art? Do you consider yourself an artist?
      Art is whatever you want it to be. To me, art is an expression of something- anything- through visual, auditory, or sensual means. Pidgeonholing again. It's so much more than that. Art is more than words. Unless it's a poem, but.
5.) Are you satisfied?
      "Well, if you were really, truly, one hundred percent satisfied with everything, what would be the point of living? Besides, you'd probably end up being dissatisfied with the fact that you are so satisfied, so it's kind of moot if you think about it. I'm not satisfied, but that doesn't mean I can't try to be happy anyway."
6.) What makes you smile?
      Everything that is Kins, Igby & Jason, good moods, good times, movie theaters, creating something (something that is even better when done with others), finishing a really good movie/book/poem/song/whatever by someone else, overcast days, snow, bike riding, good food, some memories, concerts, waking up feeling refreshed, feeling complete, driving aimlessly, miniature anything, CDs made to look like records, not getting hit by other cars, dressing like certain superstars.
7.) What makes you cry?
      Anything that's not "See Above" and some of what is.
8.) What pisses you off?
      People getting in my way. People trying to keep me from getting where I want to get, people sideswiping my car and saying "Hey, why'd you hit me, man?", people not taking me seriously, explaining myself.
9.) How should people deal with interpersonal conflicts? How do you?
      With complete presence of mind, explaining calmly feelings, thoughts, using "I" sentences: "I feel sad that....." "I and angry because." I do my best to deal with them in that manner, except when people stand in my way (see above about being pissed off.)
10.) What's some questions you would ask?
      Probably really shallow ones about what height you would want to be and which AC-DC album you are.

Current Mood: Creative
Current Music: The Electronic Dignity

I've been silent too long.
I've sat by and watched some of the most important events of my adolescence unfold and I haven't said a word. Not a damn thing.
Well, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of watching people whom I called- and called themselves- my best friends up and leave for no reason I could see. I'm tired of people I trusted betraying me and my passion; for what? For what? To seem cooler? To be more popular? To make it apparent to anyone who'd bother to take the time to really look at it just how much of a low-life you are? I really don't understand. I used to think I understood you. Maybe I did, but maybe you were just lying then.
If you want to write hateful things about my girlfriend and me for anyone to see, I wish you could have had the courtesy- or balls?- to say it to our faces. But no, you gather with your little horde (the 'whole world') and conjur up stories about what terrible people we are and how much we hate you and how we're the worst, fattest people in the world. Not that it should really matter how fat you think we are: come on people, I know you can come up with something weightier than that. Or do I give you too much credit? You've sunk so far to merely insulting our appearance? Give me a fucking break.
I've never done anything to a single one of you people that wasn't nice or at least polite. Why do you have such wrath against us? Do you just need something to hate? Do you really believe any of that stuff you post about us? If you do, you really need to get a life. Bigtime. Go do something worthwhile with your life, hating Krystle and myself isn't helping anyone, and I bet it's not even that much fun. But it's the new thing, everyone cool is doing it. Scratch that, everyone in the 'world'is doing it, right? Your whole world? What a world it is that consists of, what- eight people? Nine? Take a look at the bigger picture. You're all losers wasting your time just so you can seem tough. I guess it's the only thing that you and all your 'friends' have in common, that you were so 'wronged' by two innocent people who just like to keep to themselves.
The bottom line: get a life and leave me alone.

PS- I look forward to all of your witty and insightful comments, grace me.

Current Mood: Vengeful
Current Music: Gonna crucify the insincere tonight.

Reach me
Hey. I've more or less forgotten about this website. I'm using my own site as a Journalish thing. Check out:
www.angelfire.com/art2/ninewhilenine

I am angry. On my previous post, there were two comments. Both anonymous. I don't know who posted them, but they were both comepletely irreverent towards the subject matter. If you are going to comment on that I post, please do not hide. Say who you are before you say something. And say nothing if you have nothing to say. I will delete any anonymous comments.

On a lighter note, I have the coolest friends in the world. I just got to chill with Melissa and Andrew and Krystle. And even though I didn't get to spend as much time there as I would have liked (No amount of time is ever enough time!) if was totally great. Andrew is a great guy and a great guitar player. And completely pure, there's nobody like him on earth. And Melissa is so great. I got to go to Loud (Our guitar mentor) beforehand, which was a lot of fun. Melissa is a fun gal. Great smile. And Krystle. My Kry. Ah, we're all blessed to be in her presence. Simple as that. Perfect in every way and radiant. :)

Current Music: Pink Floyd's "The Wall"

I'm such a sap.
Well, I'm sure everyone reading this knows about the events of last weekend.
Before, I figured that the whole experience was probably just a physical thing. You know, something that feels good for a little while then you move on and whatever. God, was I WRONG. It's completely spiritual. Some people can go around and just do it for bragging rights, or just for physical whatever. Which is cool, because it does afford both of those. But there can be so much more to it than that.
Now, I can only speak for myself. But on my side, it was incredibly spiritual and emotional. I felt this indescribable connection, and still do. I can't bear being separated now. It was like this geyser of emotion just erupted and is still flowing just as strong as ever. Its waters are surging over me and I will do everything in my power to bathe in this spring forever.
I'm sure some people wouldn't feel the same way about it that I do. Some people would say I'm sappi-fying it. But I don't think so. It's just all this incredible love surging inside me that I, perhaps selfishly (since it is for myself that I write), want to express.
And Christ. Lying there afterward, just us, with no one else around, nothing else in my thoughts, nothing but she and I and passion present- is nothing short of Eden. Supremely euphoric.
And right now, I'm not sure what ripples this is going to make in the water of the future. But so far, any slight changes it has caused have been simply for the better. I hope it continues thus. I feel nothing but gratitude for this, for being able to look back on that moment with these emotions, gratitude for her, and gratitude for life.

Current Mood: grateful

Christian Cannibals
Just a quick thought I had. In Christian churches, there is a ceremony near the end of the mass called the 'last supper'. Jesus, whom the catholics believe to be the Son of God, was crucified, and this ceremony is basically acting out Jesus' last meal. The priest will bless wine and bread, and the Christians believe that the bread and wine are transformed into the flesh and blood of their God. Then they proceed to comsume it.
Now, I was thinking. If it were legal, I believe that these religious fanatics would eat a human being. I imagine them breeding young men and women to be exceedingly pure, and then once that person comes of age, probably either early teens, or all the way up to their early thirties (The age when Jesus died), and then they'd put that person on the altar and crucify them. Then, they would tear the person limb from limb and gather all the blood and put it in chalices, and the priests would serve it to the faithful, the flesh and blood of this pure sacrifice that represents their God incarnate. Maybe I'm just whacked out, but I can definitely see my parents doing this kind of thing if they believed it would 'save' them or whateverthehell. Wow. I just babbled for like five minures. I'm done now.

Current Music: NIN

Some people live their lives in the shadow of what other people think. In the shelter of what?s ?cool?.
About three years ago, I discovered a series of books called the Vampire Chronicles (By Anne Rice). I immediately fell in love with them! The characters are all so true to life and beautifully crafted. I absolutely adore the way that Mrs. Rice describes everything, from the characters to the world around them. I love these books to death. They have influenced me in so many ways: the way I see things, what I value, what I look for in people, and soooo much more.
One of these books (the third in the series, published in 1988 which I read when I was twelve) is called the Queen of the Damned. And a movie is being released under the same title, calling itself ?Anne Rice?s?. I personally hate that, for one thing, but that?s for another time. But the thing is, I know, I positively KNOW that The Vampire Chronicles will become the newest trend. For about four months, everyone will be an expert. Well, today I saw no less than three people with copies of Queen of the Damned. And all of these copies weren?t REAL ones, they were the shitty ones with Aaliyah on the cover! Now, don?t get me wrong. I have absolutely nothing against Aaliyah, RIP, she was a respectable performer, and I think she did wonders for the AA community. BUT, she was a shitty pick for the part or Akasha. If you had read the book, you?d know why.
And now all these Johnny-come-latelies will be ?the biggest Anne Rice fan ever!? and all that. Just because they saw QOTD and Interview With The Vampire. Which only makes my blood pressure worse.
I have some questions for all you ?experts? out there. Where was Lestat born? What was the name of the vampire who made him? What vampire made Marius? What vampire made Mael? How did Magnus become a vampire? Who was the first vampire Marius made? Who was the first vampire Armand made? Who was the second vampire ever made? The third? How was the first vampire made? Who is the present Queen of the Damned, and how? These are just a few. I?m going to make more questions later.
Now, none of you ?experts? would come anywhere NEAR my Anne Rice if it wasn?t ?cool?. Go screw yourselves, experts. Leave my blood pressure alone.

Current Music: Pink Floyd's "The Wall"

Website!
Hey all, please check out my poorly constructed website at:
angelfire.com/art2/ninewhilenine

Thanks, and please don't laugh!

Says it right here on my crucifix...
Yeah, you knew it would be coming eventually.
Everyone I know has made a joural entry about how horrible religion is. I disagree. Organizd religion, yes, but religion in general? (Or maybe a better word for it would be spirituality) I think can be a good thing.
I spent some time with "God" this weekend (Or, more accurately, I was placed in confinement with small-minded, closed-minded people who feel different about almst everything I feel strongly about).
And I was forced to think about some things that needed some serious thinking about.
I believe that there is a god.
Not in the convenional sense, however. I came upon my little discovery when I was being preached to about that Catholics call the "Holy Spirit." The Spirit is a force that unities all humans to God in ways we cannot understand or ever hope to. It's beyond us. It is 'Holy' (PS- The word Holy is from a Greek or Latin root [I forget which] of a word that means 'other'.)
Hearing about all this led me to wonder about other things that are outside our undersanding, that are 'other' from our consciousness.
Things like Love, and like that unspoken (Or spoken, for that matter) connection with people we care about, those are also outside our understanding. Now, I believe that I've found a "God" to believe in.
My God is other people. And that unnameable force which does unite us all. That is what I choose to believe in.
Because, there's not all the rules and all the contradiction and all the bullshit that comes with most organized religions. This is...simple. And honest. And very fulfilling.
-J

Current Music: Dreeeeem Theeeeeterrrrr

Pretty Things in America
A colleague of mine dislikes the film AMERICAN BEAUTY, and can't understand why I am so enthralled with it. She says that it's one of those movies that acts so profound and groundbreaking when it really doesn't have anything to say at all. And taking that into consideration quite a while ago, I analyzed everything in the film that it might be saying. And honestly, I couldn't figure it out. Yet I continued to love it relentlessly.
I was watching it earlier this evening and I think I figured it out. It's not saying any one thing. It's suggesting that you take a look back and re-evaluate...everything. Because, all the major characters, I can see myself like I'm looking into a mirror. And in this way, it's showed me all the ways I'm messed up and should change, and basically just reveals me to myself. For example:
Lester Burnham. I can feel myself trying to get back to my old self, when I didn't feel so "sedated". When I was really myself. And I'm actually recovering that lost piece and some people don't like it.
Frank Fitts. As I discover thee pieces of myself, not only do other people not really enjoy it, sometimes I scare myself. And I'm afraid of what I'd do if something I've been clinging to turns out to be just plain rubbish.
Mrs. Fitts. I feel lost in my own world. Everything is whirling around me and I'm powerless to stop or affect it in any way. And once in a while I'll think I'm saying something profound and it's misunderstood. "Wear a raincoat."
Carolyn Burnham. Similar to Mrs. Fitts. I'm trying and trying to get a grip and sometimes I feel like I need to just go out and shoot a gun. Or get the, uh, "Royal Treatment, so to speak." Heheheh.
Jane Burnham. I'm looking for someone to connect with...Oh, wait, found them. :) Now I dig deeper to get as much from them wthout actally taking anything.
Ricky Fitts. I have so many things in my head and I don't know how to say them. So people misunderstand me and think I'm scary and weird and a psycho. Which is cool, it gives me a kind of power over them. And I see so much beauty...it feels like my heart is going to cave in.
Well, now maybe you see why I am so intoxicated by this movie. Because, if they were real people and not just characters, most of them would be parts of me. People I could understand and really talk to. I'll leave you with something that I think is one of the most beauftiful compositions of words that I've ever heard/seen:
"That's the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid. Ever."

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Deftones

...
In my last entry, I compared someone to a song I knew. Now, I'll compare that same person to another piece by the same artist, a song called Sleeping Beauty

Delusional
I believe I can cure it all for you, dear
Coax or trick or drive or
drag the demons from you
Make it right for you sleeping beauty
Truly thought
I can magically heal you

You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening
Failing miserably to rescue

Sleeping Beauty

Drunk on ego
Truly thought I could make it right
If I kissed you one more time to
Help you face the nightmare
But you're far too poisoned for me
Such a fool to think that I can wake you from your slumber
That I could actually heal you..

Sleeping Beauty
Poisoned and hopeless
You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening
Failing miserably to find a way to comfort you

Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening
And hiding from some poisoned memory

Poisoned and hopeless
Sleeping Beauty

----
I wish there was something I could do. I'm so helpless. I'm inpotent. I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you, Sleeping Beauty. I'm trying.
Fuck this. It serves no purose.

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: The Sisters of Mercy

Thoughts..
Isn't it weird how someone else can influence your decisions? I mean, not what's 'popular' and all that bull. How someone you care about can be more important than you are to yourself sometimes. And you'd give up almost anything for them. Now, I don't know if I'm the only person who ever feels like this. But I know I do. It's like that A Perfect Circle song, "Magdalena":

And I'd sell my soul, my self-esteem, a dollar
at a time, for one chance, one kiss, one taste
of you, my Magdalena.

The fact that it was written about a stripper means nothing. It's just the sentiment that matters, I s'pose. And since I couldn't have said it any better, that's the perfect way to express what I feel. So I'd sell my soul and my self-esteem, a dollar t a time, for one chance, one kiss, one taste of you my K. (Winky-face)

Current Music: Prior Life

INADEQUATE SOUL FOR SALE
Inadequate soul for sale.
Dirt cheap.
Will work for food and tenderness.

Current Mood: Inadequate
Current Music: Yngwie Malmsteen

Thinking.
Well, Anyone-who-reads-this, I've re-examined my life. I am without direction, I am complacent, I am ungrateful. I am sorry, everyone. I am a waste of space. Thank you all so much for tolerating me. I'll do my best to make it up to you.
I've always said- Life is short. Make the most of it. Time is limited. I just now realized that I've wasted so much of my time. I am going to start making the most of myself. I will start by saying this- I love you all. Thank you. I need you. I guess that's all I really had to say. I hope I get to talk to you all very soon. I'm looking forward to Tuesday when I can see you all face-to-face.
With love,
Jim.

Current Mood: Contemplative/Thankful
Current Music: Nada.

Sweet connecton...
It's been said that we need to open ourselves to a state of vulnerable open-mindedness to expand ourselves. I agree. I'm not, however, talking about expanding knowledge. More along the lines of expanding our emotional and spiritual selves.
I think, for an emotional being like ourselves to expand, we need to find places to go. It's not like we just go everywhere at once. You need to find a direction, and someone to pull you in that direction. Find someone that you feel comfortable with. Not necessarily someone you have things in common with, but someone you can relate to. And just pull that person to you. Open yourself and they will do the same. Make sure to keep yourself well rooted, however. Remember who you are and why you are. But, in opening of themselves, that other person will be creating a vacuum to pull you into, and you will be doing the same. Pull this person into yourself and allow yourself to go into them. Thus, you've kept part of you in on place, and sent another part of you into them. You've expanded. And so have they. This is the first step in becoming infinite. Or maybe I'm just dumb. But I think this is the way to expand yourself in all aspects. And once you've done this, hold that person close to your heart. That person will become a part of you. Or, perhaps, they always were a part of you, and you simply discovered them. Some people call this state love. That might be it. I think it's just connection. And God, is it wonderful. I'm presently in the state of pulling someone into me. Or doing my best to anyway. And I've opened myself and I'm digging deep as I can into her, to find all I can. And all I've found so far is beautiful. So incomparably beautiful and magnetic. I just hope she knows that.
But this action is what just might be the meaning of life. I guess. I mean, this expanding of self. It sure is gratifying. And this is what I live for, this connection with others. Sweet connection. There are some beatiful people in the world if you look hard enough for them, I'm fortunate enough to have found some. I love you all.

PS- I'm sorry if I've sounded pretentious. Just sharing.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Tool- Undertow

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